Michami Dukkadam

Religions and I share a special relationship: I do not believe in any but I respect all of them.

But one thing I deliberately do: I observe the principles offered by different religions, see how they can help the humanity and continue my journey of becoming an aware human.

But this does not stop the religious messages and wishes I receive and it is obvious also as everyone is different.

Today, I received such a wish when I was beginning my day – from a Jain friend whom I respect for his remarkable dedication to work and ethics as a person.

He sent me a message – Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ along with a couple of lines that said that he is seeking forgiveness!

I read the message consciously and felt good about it. Soon, I thought I should know more about what Michhami Dukkadam really means. Hence I did a quick research (pardon my unawareness – I have received this message every year but I never really knew what it really means).

Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ is widely used in the Jain religion on the last day (Samvatsari or Kshamavani) of Paryushana, the most important annual holy event of the Jain calendar.As a matter of ritual, Jains greet their friends and relatives on this last day with Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ, seeking their forgiveness. No private quarrel or dispute should be carried beyond this time. The importance of forgiveness in the utmost in Jainism.

Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ means this: “May All The Evil That Has Been Done Be Fruitless.” 

Here is how I perceive it:

  1. When someone asks you to forgive, regardless if s/he has committed any wrongdoings or not, you get a specific chemical reaction in your body.
  2. You suddenly feel that the amount of selfishness you carry as a human starts to decrease. When selfishness decreases, you start to feel relaxed.
  3. If you don’t overwrite your state of being with new (and often selfish) experiences again, you remain in a great state of joy, an abundance of happiness and cheer.

I wish all of you who are reading this, get to experience that.

So here is my Michami Dukkadam to all of you …

For any reasons, or unreasonably;
By doing something or by not doing ‘some’ thing;
directly or indirectly;

If I have hurt you, emotionally, mentally, physically (I guess not) or otherwise, then please forgive this Nobody. 🙏

Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ! 🙏🙏

~UV (20170825)

The Maths of Life

When a man marries his girlfriend, he immediately creates a vacancy.

Okay, this is not my quote. It is from James Goldsmith. But it doesn’t matter whose quote is it because the point is – it highlights an unpleasantly interesting truth.

The truth is, you like something when there are no strings attached. When strings get attached, you start disliking the same thing!

We observe it all the time, but we don’t pay attention to this pattern much. Here is a story that affirms this observation.

In 1999, I met with a person called Milan (name changed for privacy).

He had a clerical/administrative job in a school. His work hours were 8:00 am to 1:00 pm and his salary were more than enough to take care of his needs.

But Milan hated his job. His passion was teaching maths to children.

Milan was excellent with academic maths and loved teaching. A lot of students used to come to him to learn maths.

Frustrated with his boring job, he quit his job. Soon he rented a space, ordered some furniture, and open his maths coaching classes.

He got the first batch within just a week of opening the classes.

Within just 3 months, he was running about 4 batches in a day. He was happy with his work and he rented more space, partnered with a couple of other teachers and hired a few more teachers.

They were four people running their coaching classes and gaining a good name amongst young children and their parents because of their quality maths coaching.

More and more students started joining his maths classes. And he was almost compelled to start more batches.

Now, apart from teaching maths, he also had to look after the administrative and operational aspects of running a coaching class business.

It turned out that he just loved teaching maths, not running a coaching class business.

His operational costs were increasing day by day – and the revenues he was generating through fees was not enough to take care of the costs.

His “hobby” shifted from teaching maths to share-market day trading. He started hating maths and started spending more time at a sharebroker’s office.

To make a long story short, after a few months, he shut his classes down because he could not sustain it and got an administrative job again with some organization.

His life went on but certainly, it was not something that Milan and his near ones would have wished for him.

The Math of Life Utpal Vaishnav

Lessons:

  1. Don’t turn your hobby into a business (especially if you are not up for understanding the business aspects of converting your hobby into a business).
  2. Your boring looking job gives you time and money to pursue your hobby, be aware of that and find peace with it.
  3. In business, there are a lot of things that you do which you may not personally like but you still need to do. That’s normal. If you don’t know how to lead yourself on the face of unpleasant yet important activities of your business, you will be out of business soon.
  4. The maths of life is not 1+1 = 2. Its answer could be different in different situations. What people do not get is that both the digits (1) are defined passively – by a lot of external factors. In other words, in business, 1 does not represent a constant, it is a variable!

Your relationship with the hobby will remain healthy if you don’t try to convert it into a job – or a business.

The Tao of Understanding

The Tao of Understanding

When you understand kindness as kindness, mercilessness arises
When you understand love as love, hatred arises

Thus Happiness and Unhappiness produce each other
Right and Wrong bring about each other
Light and Dark reveal each other
Health and Illness reflect each other

The words have limitations
The written things have limitations
The said things have limitations
The understanding has limitations

Therefore the key
is not to “understand” such things

But to “experience” them …

Understanding goes away; experiences do not.

The Tao of Understanding is
not to try to understand the things,
but to experience them.

Concept Inspiration: Lao Tzu

On Unacceptance

A Lion is a Lion, there is no question of him being anything other than a Lion.

And the potato is a potato. Neither does the Lion ever try to become a potato nor does the potato ever try to become a Lion.

unacceptance

Hence, there is no anxiety between Lions and the potatoes. They don’t need an Arbiter to resolve their internal problems if there are any.

A Lion respects the potato and the potato respects the Lion. They respect each other so much that they even do not eat each other.

The whole world seems to have a clear understanding of the distinction between a Lion and the potato except men.

Men have their insistence: “You must be doing this particular thing (because I think it is right)!”

Men want other people to behave in a particular way –  in the name of society, in the name of tradition, in the name of relationship, or in the name of love …

And the struggle begins: you are torn between who you are and what you must be doing according to the other human beings.

The MUSTS don’t enjoy a good relationship with ‘is’ (being).

If you think about the Lion and Potato example, it’ll become obvious that you cannot be anything other than who you are.

Once this is clear, there is no fight. There is no stress. Nothing is to be proved. Nothing more is to be accepted. What remains is pure YOU and your reality, no matter how beautiful or ugly that is.

So, can a Lion learn from the Potato?

Sure, it can if he wants to but it is not a must for the Potato to learn from the Lion. Potato does not become inferior or unimportant if it learns nothing from the Lion.

Same is the case with Lions. Did you get it?

Unfortunately the MUSTS of the past have taught us to ignore the simple things like this distinction and we try to turn others into something they are not.

The result?

Certainly, something that is not natural.

Will such results make you feel accomplished, happy or loved?

No?

Then why practice MUSTS?

3 Days Bachelor Trip to Diu

Are you still close friends with people with whom you went to college?

If yes, and if you’re still looking forward to creating new life experiences with them, you’re fortunate.

“Friends are the family you choose.” ~Jess C. Scott, The Other Side of Life

In friendship, you don’t “have to” take any actions. You take particular actions because you “want to” take them.

In friendship, there are no social boundaries, no looking good, just pure you … Imperfect and vulnerable.

And that’s the beauty of it. I am fortunate enough to have a few such friends who have been with me in thick and thin times and my words always fall short to describe our friendship.

Though physical distance has increased over the years as I relocated to Ahmedabad 9 years ago, there hasn’t been any mental distance whatsoever and we have always enjoyed spending time with one another.

For last 3 years, at least once per year, we choose to spend time … just 2-3 days … alone. Without anyone’s spouse, children or any other family members.

Idea is to recreate the carefree and stressless life experiences again without much worrying about Bank balances, the decreased amount of investments or increased size of the belly.

2nd weekend of July 2016 enjoyed one such trip. On Friday, we started from Rajkot, drove to Diu via Sasan/Gir, and returned on Sunday.

While the places we visited were good, the memories we created together are priceless. Here is a PhotoLogue of our trip:

Performer’s Death, Let’s Celebrate – #RIPMuhammadAli

Muhammad Ali, who proclaimed himself as “The Greatest” and then spent his whole life living up to the belief is no more.

At 74, Ali died Friday at a Phoenix-area hospital, where he had spent the past few days being treated for respiratory complications.

Generally, the deaths are sad: Of an interest. Of curiosity. Of innocence. Of human beings.

But Performers’ deaths are different.

Though they live the physical universe, they remain ALIVE in the people’s heart. For the work of mastery they produced. For the pain of getting into greater verticle depths that no one can experience except them.

So today, I invite all of you, who are in their quest to becoming their ultimate best, celebrate the performer’s death.

To celebrate his death, let’s reflect on some of the wise sayings of Ali. If you are deeply connected with physical Ali, you might want to feel sad but your celebration should be much more your sadness – that’s the real tribute legends like Ali deserve.

If you are deeply connected with physical Ali, you might want to feel sad but your celebration should be much more than your sadness – that’s the real tribute legends like Ali deserve.

Let’s learn from all what Ali said and celebrate our existence by keeping him alive in our best work. #RIPMuhammadAli.

 

Learn to Love Networking

It’s been a few months since I’ve got a new interest: Networking.

I think that understanding Networking at depth will help me be better at what I do.

I had never consciously touched upon the subject of networking but better late than never.

In business, people invest in networking activities willingly or unwillingly.

The problem is, many executives, professionals, and entrepreneurs consider Networking as an inauthentic, and exploitative activity.

There is some truth to it too. People often invest in networking to gain some benefits out of the activity.

I am not done with my research yet and I have a little understanding about the subject but I think networking is a wonderful gift to a professional when done right.

Good networking provides more opportunities, deeper knowledge, and improved capacity to innovate and make things better.

I have started to believe when done right, Networking has a potential to improve one’s personal life as well.

While looking at Networking from business and opportunity perspective, I came across this interesting article from Harvard Business Review: Learn to Love Networking. The article is written by Tiziana Casciaro, Francesca Gino and Maryam Kouchaki.

Some of you might know that for last few months, thanks to my friend Tanmay Vora, I’ve been learning to take notes in the form of Sketch Notes. I did the same while reading this article on Networking. Here is the sketch note:

Learn to Love Networking Harvard Business Review

I think the four take home points from the article: focus on learning, identify common interests, think broadly what you can give and finding a higher purpose have a great potential to make you a better professional and better creator.

What do you think?